Symbiosis

11x17 limited edition signed print 

I have long had some codependent issues. They are hard to overcome. And the orchid is kinda a symbol of codependency as it has a symbiotic relationship with a fungus that it actually depends on to nourish the seeds to germinate. The fungus is there in the roots of the orchid, letting it actually help it grow to a point where photosynthesis can take over. Many orchids retain this fungus for when they germinate again so that their seeds may have the same advantage. This makes me think of this mentality I used to have of I need to help someone so that they will be ok. Inevitably I would help people to the point that they no longer needed me and as humans, not orchids they would discard me cause I was no longer useful. I beat myself up over not being good enough and would repeat this vicious cycle over and over, to the point a good friend has yelled at me for being an emotional masochist. In the past year, I had to do a lot of work on myself to get to feeling normal after breaking that cycle. A weird transformation happened when I allowed myself to become the plant instead of the fungus that built the plant up. I started feeling confident and sure of myself. I started taking risks I should have taken years ago. I started selling my art and really pushing to hone my craft. I finally started to grow and be in the light instead of hiding in the mud like a fungus. ⁠